Saturday, July 14, 2012

Of The Spiritual

I find myself deep within a realm of change.
Growth.
And exploring my spiritual self.

Growing up I was raised Baptist.
I was taught all I needed to know about the world.
So I thought.

I was always lost and conflicted.

As a kid I would lose myself in nature in a sense that contradicted what I was taught as a Baptist.
I felt attached to it in a magickal sense.
I felt like my thoughts could connect with the wind, like I could almost control it.

That was not okay with the teachings of Christianity. 
I buried those thoughts and feelings.
I lost a part of me.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago.
Leena's birth awakened parts of me I had long lost.

Slowly it started with the way I looked at childbirth.
Then it went on to the change I made in my eating habits.
I changed my lifestyle.
It snowballed and turned into this Spiritual Awakening.
My body was cleaned so my mind is clearing.

This year is the year to explore all these thoughts I've slowly been letting loose.
Penelope's birth has once again shook my core and I'm building up my new foundation.

Honoring my true self.
Honoring Gaia.

When people ask me what it is I believe in I give a short answer.
I believe in God.
I usually do not find myself divulging much farther than that.

God, as the Christians honor, I'm not so sure.

The earth is God.
God is not some supreme being giving us minds to rationalize and then telling us not to use that ability.

I've been so afraid to let it be known that I do not follow the God I was taught to follow as a child.
I've been worried that people will judge me as I've judged others in the past for the beliefs I now hold as truths.

I am no longer afraid.

I do not need saving.

 So, what am I?

I am not a religion.

I am me.
 Peace and Love.
Katelyn

I, in no way, find you or anyone else of the Christian following any less than I.
We all have our own paths and own personal truths.


7 comments:

  1. I SO know what you mean! I struggled with that myself growing up. I've come to believe in many things and that I can believe in them combined.

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  2. well said moon gypsi. my belief in god grows stronger every day. i am also very connected to nature and drawn to it. we all have to find our way, god never leaves us, we leave him. and as i am outdoors and exploring often i am humbled by what god has made, this is also true when i look at my children. thru enjoying his wonderful world, i can grow closer to him. bc without god, this world is not possible!

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    1. This world has so many beautiful things to it to not have spirits and god/goddesses in it. That connection is needed I believe to really feel rooted. But some people's way of feeling rooted is to not believe in anything. It's a very mysterious thing, the way our world works.

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  3. Oh Oh Oh. This. My year has been this! My father and my husbands father are both Baptist pastors. It's been a VERY difficult journey for us. One that has left us without local friends and even disowned by many family members. I'm thrilled to find myself reading more of your story. We are soul sisters. <3

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"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
-Mark Twain