Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I am afraid of the dark.

As I hear stumbling down the hall I am awoken from my sleep. Groggy eyed and confused I strain to listen to muffled words in the dark. Muffled voices getting louder. I slide off my bed and cower as a tear in the fabric of our home is coming. "Did you do the other one?" Other what? What is he talking about?

Phone being dialed. Buttons clicking. Waiting. "I need an ambulance. My wife has slit her wrists."

Groggy eyes instantly fade away. I am now alert.

My father yells for my older sister. Again. I jump up and yell that I will go get her. Running out of my room into the hall I see it. Blood. It's everywhere. I run as I dodge touching any of it. I barrel into my sisters room speaking in another language to her. Panicked. She only makes out a few choice words.

My sister calls my grandparents to come get us. Waiting outside in the summer air. Dark but somehow cold. Two vehicles come up the street. An ambulance. My grandparent's car.

Sometimes I am perpetually 15 years old with this fear of the dark burned into my soul.

Wounds that healed, that I thought were healed, are reopened. It's time these demons are finally put to rest.



  1. oh my goodness, darlin....

    i have no words at the moment but wanted to pour lots of love and healing all over you. you are so brave and courageous!


  2. I am sending you tons of love and good vibes beautiful <3

  3. O my love. <3 sending you light and love and strength.

  4. This is a wound that will heal, but will leave a deep scar on your soul

    I know from personal experience with my own mother

    I feel your deep deep pain and send love

  5. oh, you're strength. you are loved for it. <3

  6. it takes courage to share this...i think you are a lovely and beautiful being.



  7. Oh love... I am so sorry, let me know if you would like a reiki session

    1. I'll never turn down a good energy session. <3

  8. <3 my friend, i am here for you anytime you need to call me and talk through things. i love you.

    1. It was nice getting to talk to you about this, even if you thought I was a tad odd for getting to know all my silly quirks. :D

  9. Replies
    1. And thank you! It was one I created a couple years ago when in a challenge at the hideout.


"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
-Mark Twain