Sunday, October 14, 2012

Clarity: And the time to move on.

You try for ages to declutter. Release and let go. You give away things, you sell things, you donate things. Still drowning. But when the thing suffocating you isn't really things you never truly feel peace. Then something so monumental, so in your face happens and you can't ignore the catalyst before you any longer. This year has been leading up to this huge shift happening in our household. I have been ignoring the warning signs all along. Trying to tell myself that this isn't happening. That it would be too hard to make the shift and jump ship.

It's happened.
I jumped and I made it.

I learned finally to trust myself. Lean on myself first. Not to worry about others so much when it is detrimental to this family. To use the throat chakra that I've been so mindfully working on trusting and allowing it's place in my life. And to listen to the voice of a child.

Children speak volumes, when you actually learn to listen to them.

The things my child has told me over the course of the last two days was the universe's 300, Sparta, kick in the gut, way of telling me it was time to let it go. Stop holding on to the decay. I've ignored the warning signs far too long and it upped the ante with this warning. Well baby, all my alarms are blaring.

Laura spoke these words to me and I hope she doesn't mind me sharing, with a few choice words,  for privacy reasons, changed:
"I guess your feelings of (it) were coming from a deep instinctual need to let (it) go and the universe just did it's magic for you. Your heart was in the right place. Just sit with this for a while and then gently let (it) go."

Magic. Yes.

Just wish I listened sooner.
This morning I drew a tarot for the first time in a long while.
"Nurturing lodge of the bowls: The fruits of devotion."
Some lines that stuck out to me specifically in my guidebook-
"You have given away too much. You have extended your hand to others so far that you have lost your balance. Go prepare a nurturing space. Renew yourself. Get what you need to fill your space and feel good about sharing once again with others."

Check and mate.
Only this time me extending my hand to far manifested itself within the soul of my child and I am hoping the road of healing for her, for us, will not be one paved with any more stumbling blocks.

Peace and Love.

Katelyn

9 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. <3 Thanks for helping me in this process.

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  2. Sending you love and healing energies! I hope everything comes together beautifully and you find the amazingness hiding amongst the chaos and hurt. *hugs*

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  3. the way you write is magical and inspiring. hope, healing and hugs to ya'll <3

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  4. <3 to you sweet friend. Sending you love and light.

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  5. What a wonderful tarot deck!
    I really like it and I like the message for you as well. I think it's so appropriate for this season.

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"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
-Mark Twain